
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said „Thanks”. I said „Don’t mention it”.
Jeśli zrozumiałeś/zrozumiałaś ten żart, jesteś bardzo zaawanowanym użytkownikem języka angielskiego. Jeśl zacząłeś się nad nim zastanawiać i nie przestałeś póki go nie zrozumiałeś/zrozumiałaś, to kiedyś będziesz zaawansowanym użytkownikiem tego języka, ponieważ twoimi cechami są dociekliwość, nieustępliwość i ciekawość.
Poniższe dad jokes, czyli suchary, w większości opierają się na dwuznacznościach, ukrytych znaczeniach wyrazów i grach słownych. Ponieważ dowcipy składają się ze słów, można je wykorzystać w nauce języka. Niektóre zrozumiesz w trymiga, żeby pojąć inne będziesz potrzebował dobrego słownika, czasu i zaciętości. Chyba że pójdziesz na łatwiznę i najedziesz myszką na niebieskie pole ze słowem EXPLANATION, ale satysfakcja znacznie mniejsza.
- What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. EXPLANATION
- I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. EXPLANATION
- Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, „I think we got this joke wrong”. EXPLANATION
- I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said „Thanks”. I said „Don’t mention it”. EXPLANATION
- My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
EXPLANATION - I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer. EXPLANATION
- I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it. EXPLANATION
- Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi. EXPLANATION
- What’s the difference between a hippo an a zippo? One is really heavy and the other one is a little lighter. EXPLANATION
- And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster. EXPLANATION
- How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb? Is it one or two? One… or two? EXPLANATION
- What do we want?! Low flying airplane noises! When do we want them?! NNNEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWW EXPLANATION
- So what if I don’t’ want to know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world. EXPLANATION
- What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals. Phillipe Phillope. EXPLANATION
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. EXPLANATION
- What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador. EXPLANATION
- How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west. EXPLANATION
- A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair. EXPLANATION
- Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well. EXPLANATION
- This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. EXPLANATION
- Why did the farmer win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. EXPLANATION
- I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible. EXPLANATION
- My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said „40”. EXPLANATION
- I’ve found a job helping a one-armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work. EXPLANATION
- I went bobsleighing the other day. I killed 250 bobs. EXPLANATION
- I have a heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo. EXPLANATION
- What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. EXPLANATION
- Wife says to her programmer husband, „Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen”. Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread. EXPLANATION
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey. EXPLANATION
- What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships. EXPLANATION
- Communism jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them. EXPLANATION
- What do the movies „Titanic” and „The Sixth Sense” have in common? Icy dead people. EXPLANATION
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery. EXPLANATION
- Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other „I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy replies „You are on the other side!” EXPLANATION
- Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines. EXPLANATION
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me. EXPLANATION
- A guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch. The bartender says „Pal, if you want a punch, you’ll have to stand in line”. The guy looks around, but there is no punch line. EXPLANATION
- Why did a picture go to jail? Because it was framed. EXPLANATION
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck. EXPLANATION
- People in Dubai don’t like the Flinstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do! EXPLANATION
- My friends say there’s a gay guy in our circle of friends… I really hope it’s Todd, he’s cute. EXPLANATION
- I’ve been told I’m condescending. That means I talk down to people. EXPLANATION
- How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool. EXPLANATION
- What’s ET short for? He’s only got little legs. EXPLANATION
- Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticise them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes. EXPLANATION
- Why aren’t koalas actually bears? They don’t meet the koalafications. EXPLANATION
- It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They always take things literally. EXPLANATION
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. EXPLANATION
- Some people think it’s romantic to carve their names on trees in the park while on a date. I’m more worried about why they’re bringing a knife on their date. EXPLANATION
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Pytanie odnośnie żartu nr. 3 Czy tam nie powinno być raczej „Two cannibals are eating a clown”?
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